Mission Implausible

When I saw the prisoner patient being escorted into the ER by the 2 policemen, It was immediately evident why he required 2 policemen. I busied myself with another patient, and my coworker Joe took on the duty of processing this admission. The usual procedure is to have them undress completely, change into the disposable paper blue scrubs, itemizing and listing everything that was on their person, which means counting all money,  drugs (if any), valuables, and separating them. Clothes and personal effects go into a locker, valuables into a safe, and drugs go to the pharmacy. I coined a phrase for this procedure. I call it “Skankbaggin”

So Joe, who is about twice my size and weight and strength, was dwarfed by this new admission, who was angry. And tough.

Joe comes into the room where I am pulling out an I.V. and asks to trade missions.

Trade missions. I am taking out an elderly lady’s I.V. tubing. He wants me to go finish the skankbagging of Goliath. It is so ridiculous that I just traded with him. He seemed intimidated. I do not intimidate easily.

So I enter the holding cell with the 2 police and “Goliath”. He makes water for me, changes clothes, takes off his jewelry, and gives me his valuables, and calls me Ma’am throughout as I take his vitals, etc.

I have to wonder how he was brought up, and what he must have gone through as a child. I wonder this a lot at work.

The funny part was when the policeman came to me trying to figure it out, and in his county seat accent, called the patient a “Dayum Reyudneck”. This Southern redneck cop was calling this prisoner the very same.

Now isn’t that the cop calling the felon black.

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Join me…

The waiting is the hard part.

I have finished all of my prerequisites while maintaining a 4.o grade average. There are only 4 semesters left until I graduate as an RN and take my state board exams.

That is, IF I get a seat.

There are over 500 applicants. There are 60 seats.

In the meantime, I work at the hospital that has supported my education from the very beginning. In the wellness center by day, and in the ER in the evenings.

You would think that it would be easier, since the education is time consuming, and keeping the grades up is difficult at best, and now there is nothing left to do but the domestics of home life….which I love, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that I don’t really have a domestic fiber in my being. I love my family more than anything, but, being an adrenaline junkie, I get bored easily. Maybe that’s why I chose to be in emergency medicine. There is never a dull moment, it is full of challenges, and it is always interesting. without fail.

It is my hope that this blog will provide some insight into the challenges and rewards of critical care, while also letting me express…or should I say vent my feelings and experiences. No real names will be used, in order to protect the privacy of those involved.

It is most importantly, my hope that these experiences will help you to stay OUT of the emergency room. Don’t get me wrong, the emergency room is there for just that…emergencies, and we want to be there to help, to fix it, and to send you home well and feeling better. It’s just that most of the people who end up in the emergency room could have prevented it. Also they could make room and save time for the true emergencies. So you get to decide from the experiences if it truly should have been a critical case, or if it should have been prevented, and possibly learn how to prevent ending up there yourself, in the future.

So what can you expect from this blog?

Advice. ~~I want to share things I learn and experience at school and at work. Things that, if applied, will have a health-improving effect on the reader, and possibly some life-saving results along the way.

Humor. ~~This is how we deal with the things we see, smell, feel and hear in the emergency room and at school. It is the best medicine for those in the medical field. Especially critical care.

Recipes. ~~I have a stomach of steel, and no matter how many different diseases, bodily fluids, dead bodies and tissue specimens I have had to deal with, I always come home hungry!

Fitness. ~~Contrary to popular belief, nurses do not have to sacrifice their backs. It is also important to stay in shape for this type of work, and there are lots of ways to accomplish this. Pilates is my favorite.

Rants. ~~We see a lot of things we do not like, and there is nothing we can do about it. Except maybe let out a good, loud ALL CAPS RANT every now and then. Maybe you have some advice to share that will help.

More to come as the blog progresses. Thanks for joining me in chapter 1.