Mission Implausible

When I saw the prisoner patient being escorted into the ER by the 2 policemen, It was immediately evident why he required 2 policemen. I busied myself with another patient, and my coworker Joe took on the duty of processing this admission. The usual procedure is to have them undress completely, change into the disposable paper blue scrubs, itemizing and listing everything that was on their person, which means counting all money,  drugs (if any), valuables, and separating them. Clothes and personal effects go into a locker, valuables into a safe, and drugs go to the pharmacy. I coined a phrase for this procedure. I call it “Skankbaggin”

So Joe, who is about twice my size and weight and strength, was dwarfed by this new admission, who was angry. And tough.

Joe comes into the room where I am pulling out an I.V. and asks to trade missions.

Trade missions. I am taking out an elderly lady’s I.V. tubing. He wants me to go finish the skankbagging of Goliath. It is so ridiculous that I just traded with him. He seemed intimidated. I do not intimidate easily.

So I enter the holding cell with the 2 police and “Goliath”. He makes water for me, changes clothes, takes off his jewelry, and gives me his valuables, and calls me Ma’am throughout as I take his vitals, etc.

I have to wonder how he was brought up, and what he must have gone through as a child. I wonder this a lot at work.

The funny part was when the policeman came to me trying to figure it out, and in his county seat accent, called the patient a “Dayum Reyudneck”. This Southern redneck cop was calling this prisoner the very same.

Now isn’t that the cop calling the felon black.

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